I've been struggling so much this week, this month. I don't know what it is. Well, actually I DO know what it is. And it sucks. Ughhhhhhhhhhhh I hate being so brought down with my own sinful nature. I hate being humannnnnnnnnn. I'm so stubborn and stupid and easily angered. I let these emotions get to me and tie me down so much. It's been going on my whole life. I'm so SICK of it all!
Don't you sometimes feel that way? That you're just so sick of all the imperfection in your life. So sick of the things that get in the way of friendships, or other relationships in general. So sick of the things that bring you down back to where you started: rock bottom. I can't do this anymore. I can't live like this. I really don't want to live like this. It pisses me off, to let Satan win. Ughhhhhhhh. No more, please!!!!!!
Friday, April 24, 2009
Friday, December 12, 2008
Do Not Conform Any Longer
Honestly, everyday in this world brings me down. Going to school, stressing over grades, for what? To get into my perfect college... finish my schooling... and then? Make a lot of money. MONEY. Isn't that the basis of every American Dream? This world can offer nothing... If only I could remember that every second of my life.
You know what's weird? The way God works. I've been having issues with... let's just say living my life in general. Haha. I've broken down so many times because I really can't handle this life on earth. Too much pressure, all for nothing. But I opened up my little Utmost at His Highest (Upmost?) and turned to December 9th, I believe. Might be one day off. Anyway, the author talked about giving up the right to yourself.
Being a Christian doesn't mean just giving up smoking; doesn't mean just giving up alcohol, drugs, pornography, cussing, getting into fights with your parents. Being a Christian means giving up: yourself, taking up the cross and doing as Jesus did. It's so simple, but I forget all the time. Let it settle into your mind: when you give your life to Jesus, you also give up your right to dictate your own life. You give that contribution to Jesus. You religiously (haha) follow the way Jesus lived. And when you do that, everything comes naturally. Giving up bad habits isn't as hard. Fighting sin becomes a piece of cake.
How I wish to live like that.
You know what's weird? The way God works. I've been having issues with... let's just say living my life in general. Haha. I've broken down so many times because I really can't handle this life on earth. Too much pressure, all for nothing. But I opened up my little Utmost at His Highest (Upmost?) and turned to December 9th, I believe. Might be one day off. Anyway, the author talked about giving up the right to yourself.
Being a Christian doesn't mean just giving up smoking; doesn't mean just giving up alcohol, drugs, pornography, cussing, getting into fights with your parents. Being a Christian means giving up: yourself, taking up the cross and doing as Jesus did. It's so simple, but I forget all the time. Let it settle into your mind: when you give your life to Jesus, you also give up your right to dictate your own life. You give that contribution to Jesus. You religiously (haha) follow the way Jesus lived. And when you do that, everything comes naturally. Giving up bad habits isn't as hard. Fighting sin becomes a piece of cake.
How I wish to live like that.
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